i have no words to express the feelings that i feel and the things that go through my head..
is this growing up, is it always going to be a constant struggle?
i assumed i'd go no where, that i'd end up like my parents.
but all i have ever said is that i want nothing to do with being like them.
but thats all i see for myself. i have no idea what to do or where to go.
isn't that what usually happens. i'm satisfied with my life at the moment.
but theres a difference between being satisfied and ultimately happy.
it's like i'm in a whirlwind of who i want to be and who i am.
i don't know if i'm happy with myself. i wish i pushed myself more.
i try and try and try but i seem not to make progress.
it's insane how recluse i've been the past few years.
most would say that it's because of when i dated zac.
or since i started dating david. noone seems to get
that it's not them at all, it's my personal choice.
i love people, don't get me wrong.
but what i can't stand is that friends i do or did make,
people talk to much, i can't trust anyone.
and it's not even that i care that they have things to say about me, but why not just tell me what you think.







.(more to come i'm so not done..)